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Twyla Dances

Jen: One of the things we heard from readers after the original Forsaken Talisman released in 2004 was that they missed Twyla. She’d played such a predominant role in Lover’s Talisman, and they wanted to see how she was doing now that Freeze was missing from her life.

Although we love this scene and how it introduces Twyla’s constant struggle to figure out who she is and where she belongs, it made the opening of the book too Twyla centric. Since we didn’t want to confuse readers as to whose story was being told in Forsaken Talisman, we had to tone down Twyla in the beginning of the book. But we still love the insights into her character and are glad we can share them here.

Lisa: I did the first draft of this scene and absolutely got lost in it. I put on the ‘right’ music and started rocking out, pretending I was Twyla and wrote all that she did, saw and felt. I discovered how hard it is to write someone dancing and yet how easy it is to get lost in a character. The scene practically wrote itself.

And truthfully, this deleted scene actually took sections of an even earlier deleted scene I wrote right as we’d started working. Early on, we knew that one wouldn’t work, so I wrote this one. Then, this one got cut, so I put much of it in a later scene…and then that earlier scene got put back into the book, only later and done better than I’d initially written. Yeah, funny how it’s the emotion, the deep down feelings that make a scene relevant sometimes. I didn’t care that any of the scenes were cut because the important bits found their way into the book anyhow. Too bad Darla got cut from the book, though. We need to revisit her. She’s a hoot.

The beat was thumping, rocking a rhythm through Twyla’s body as she jumped, hopped, shook and swayed on the dance floor. Lasers and moving images washed everyone with all the colors of the rainbow. She hadn’t felt this free in so long. This free to get lost in the moment and dance as if tomorrow didn’t exist. Like a drug, the music and the energy of the people around her slipped into her bloodstream, and it felt so damn good. It was as though the cavern Freeze had left in her heart had a river of something other than sorrow flowing through it.

Arms in the air, she brushed past a warm body on her way to the center of the throng. That body followed her, but she squeezed between two more revelers and continued grooving to the beat. Forcing herself into this happy-go-lucky façade had been murder, but now that she was here, she wanted to make the best of it. Wanted to get lost in her little charade. No one would guess how much she missed Freeze when she was smiling and laughing and pretending like the world was a happy, beautiful place.

She shimmied, rubbing up against another male. Marlin this time. She shared a laugh as he ground against her for a few beats. What a stallion. She returned the favor before moving on. The music was perfect for getting lost. The electronic rhythms melded with a techno beat, keeping her body undulating, rocking, helping her ignore how Freeze sometimes felt so close even though he was gone.

Yet it was those moments of thinking Freeze was nearby which made his continued absence that much harder to handle. No other man in this musical mayhem could fill that void…and she suspected no one ever would.

Trapped in a seemingly electrically charged clump at the center of the floor, she threw her head back to let out a howling laugh. Free, free, free. If the music could only go louder, loud enough to push everything else out of her mind, body and soul until she only existed to be part of the chaos.

Grooving against warm body after warm body, she laughed again when she realized her current grinding partner was none other than her friend Darla.

“Hey, Twyla.” Darla returned Twyla’s glee with a twist of the hips and a bumping of butts. “I need to call you this week and order some more necklaces. They’re flying off the shelves.”

While that was great—Twyla needed the money, but she didn’t want to think about work right now—she dropped a step. Playing it off with another laugh, she jumped up and down and clapped her hands, feigning an enthusiasm she hadn’t felt for months. “Beads! Beads! I need more beads!” She broke away, in search of another warm male. What she needed now was more. More music. More warmth. More everything. Otherwise, how was she supposed to escape the cold emptiness inside?

Maybe it was the energy of so many people in one place, or maybe it was the music, or maybe all of that combined into a pulsing magic aimed right at her because Twyla felt like if she reached out a hand, Freeze would appear right in front of her, as though he’d never left her behind. She felt him, that power, that magic glowing inside, swallowing her whole.

But the memories and hope didn’t make her feel any less alone.

The next song ushered in a new, throbbing bass line and a fresh groove to rock out to. She let it invade her body, her mind, hoping it would morph into TNT and explode so every little piece of her could fly away, disappearing into oblivion. Sweet, peaceful oblivion.

Relishing that thought, she swayed amid the crowd. A rather solid body bumped into her from behind. She continued her forced euphoria as the man turned around.

“Twyla, you’re really letting loose tonight. That’s great.” Ryan’s voice washed down her neck.

“Isn’t it?” She howled. “Life is good.”

Ryan returned to his partner and Twyla closed her eyes, twisting, turning, trying to become one with the electricity. When she reopened them, all she saw were blue eyes.

Not Freeze’s ice blue eyes, though her heart skipped a beat at the possibility.

Jake’s smile drew her gaze away from the memory of someone else’s eyes. “Show me what you got, girl.”

She focused on Jake—awesome, playful, always ready with a hand, a smile, or a bad joke Jake—and began her thrill anew. “I’ll show you if you show me first.”

“I see how it is…” He nodded and started showing her everything she wanted to see.

Since Freeze left, she’d gotten close to Jake. Closer than she should’ve dared. He seemed so electrified, so teeming with life and love and all-out exuberance, things she hadn’t felt in too long. It was a painful reminder of who she’d been before Freeze, when life had been fast-paced and fun, and she’d been in charge of her own destiny.

She already knew how Jake’s body moved. They’d shared more than enough time together for her to learn how he ticked. Like a warm blanket on a cold night, his familiarity was a soft comfort, making it easy to connect with him. Jake wouldn’t hurt her, and he gave without expecting anything in return. For that alone, she adored him. If only the memory of Freeze didn’t haunt her.

No. Not now. Not this moment. She wouldn’t think about him.

Fingers entwined, bodies sliding together, feet hitting the floor faster and faster, she and Jake danced. The motion was accelerated, yet she felt an almost languid calm—the eye of the storm her life had become—that had her smiling at Jake, hoping he felt the same.

As though the music followed the whirlwind of her emotions, the song faded into a slower R&B groove. Jake’s hands fell to her hips and pulled her close as she gyrated in time with the new beat. For the first time that night, a smidgen of serenity eased through her body, like the heat from the first rays of sunlight on a winter’s morning. Familiar comfort found in the arms of a dear friend.

“Hey, Twyla?”

Humming her content, she nodded and lifted an eyebrow, not breaking eye contact until he leaned in close and stayed there.

“You’re all over the place tonight. Are you sure you’re okay?”

“No. I’m fine. I just needed a good time, y’know?” But with Jake’s honest observation the tranquil moment disappeared, the intimate misery winding back around her heart.

“Yeah, I know…” He kissed her cheek before looking into her eyes once again. His countenance edged more toward worry than good ol’ trickster Jake, but he kept dancing, kept moving, kept bringing her body in tune with his.

Every time he looked at her, she felt how much he cared, how it hurt him to see her like this—which made her feel guilty. Why did he have to be so wonderful while she was so utterly fucked up?

Her heart lurched, making her feel like she was being turned inside out. Freeze. He had to be here, somewhere in the room. His presence was overwhelming. She wanted to laugh, cry, go hysterical, anything other than feel the crushing spasms going on in her chest. It was as though her heart was on fire and being smothered all at the same time. “Thank you, Jake.” She had to cover what she was feeling. The last thing she wanted was Jake trying to make her feel better when she knew damn well she never would.

“Whatcha doing when you get out of here?”

Then again, maybe she could get lost in another romp with Jake. “Whatever you’re doing, my dear.”

“I was gonna come over and fix your leaky sink. Your living room doesn’t stink of dead bird anymore, does it?”

Leave it to Jake. A few hours ago, he’d been her hero for cleaning the rotten bird carcass from her chimney while she built necklaces to fill a huge order. By the end of the job, he’d invented a bunch more silly reasons to come back over. He didn’t need to have a reason, but she couldn’t tell him that. Through the chaos going on inside her, Twyla found a laugh and let it take over. Turning in his embrace, she pressed her ass against his crotch, her back to his chest and swayed while dipping her head back into the crook of his neck. “Sounds great.” She got lost in his warmth as he worked her body with his.

Ice-blue eyes met hers for a flash before getting lost in the sea of couples. The floor disappeared beneath her feet and she struggled to breathe. Freeze was here. She hadn’t been imagining it. All the hoping, the desperate prayers… He’d come back. She was halfway across the room before she’d even realized she’d broken away from Jake, pushing through the crowd, trying to find those eyes, his magic…

Reaching the edge of the dance floor, she saw him. Laughing, smiling…

Not Freeze. It had only been a trick of the lights. The man looked nothing like him.

Jake caught up and moved in close, all joking gone from his expression. “What’s wrong?”

“Sorry. I—” Twyla shook her head, willing her eyes to quit watering. “I think I just need to take a break. Maybe hit the ladies’ room. I’ve been out there almost all evening. I’m tired. I’ll be back.”

Concern furrowed his brow, making it clear he wasn’t buying her story. Twyla doubled her efforts, begging him without words to let her go. If she spoke, she’d break down, and she didn’t know if she could survive that.

“I’ll be waiting.” His jaw tightened, but he let her go. Thank goodness, he let her go. Still, she felt his gaze on her back as she made her way past tables, rich people who looked through her, chairs, and out of the ballroom. She wanted to go, to escape, even die. The chaos was shredding her from within.